Standing on the scales on the first day of your diet is a sobering experience. And even worse if you can't actually see what the scales are saying - not just from having dodgy eyesight, but due to the large protruding fleshy obstacle that stops you from doing up your trousers.
For the absence of doubt, I'm referring to my tummy.
Weigh-in day. The coldest of hard truths flickers back up at you from the most vicious of household devices - and you're left forlorn, naked and exposed, in a kind of shocked despair. How did I let this happen?
Then your tummy rumbles and the kitchen beckons. The cycle threatens to repeat, but this time you can do it, you can be strong. This time will be different, notwithstanding you've said that to yourself over 100 times before. This is the diet that will deliver the goods.
Maybe.
This made me chuckle. Brilliant. Good luck!